I decided to try a new tactic today.
“Morning!” I bellowed to the two people opposite who had yet to even blink in my direction.
They looked up, startled.
“Sorry, I don’t think I caught your names before...?” (Mainly because that would involve talking of course...)
“Oh...No. Well I am....and he is....and you are?”
And that was it! That’s all it took! Hurrah! A conversation commenced! We were, well, not friends, but certainly acquaintances by the end. And even better? Miss Attitude was out doing an interview all day! Score!
So within my first ten minutes the day was already going considerably better than yesterday. I thought I’d try and push my new found confidence a bit further, and talk to the ladies to the left, to the left, to the left of me. I decided to try the sympathy vote:
“Argh! The bloody computer is still playing up! Does anyone have any idea how I can stop it locking me out?!”
“Oh poor you,” one lady said (see? Sympathy vote - always works a treat) “I noticed you were having trouble yesterday. (Just decided to ignore it...) Could you have put the password in incorrectly three times?”
Grrr...(but still a good start) ”No.”
Then my other new found acquaintance piped up, “Maybe someone else is using the same ‘guest’ account as you and you keep locking each other out? You should go ask around.”
Eureka! Not only were people talking, discussing and acknowledging me, but they were providing answers! Could the day get any better?
So I went for a stroll around the office (trust me, it’s big enough for a stroll) to find the guilty fellow ‘guest3’ user. It was quite simple really, I just followed the cursing. And soon, there she was, a lovely lady freelancing in the art department.
“Hello,” I said, as she looked ready to throw her computer through the window. “I think we may be able to help each other out.”
One call back to I.T. later (we were bestest buddies by now after all) everything was resolved, life was good and everyone (well, at least me and the 5 people I now semi-knew) were happy. Told you I hadn’t typed the f*cking password in three times in a row.
So then I hit back onto the research, which was going quite nicely. In fact, in several emails I had been bold and upgraded my title to ‘researcher’ rather than ‘work experience lackey’. But then the ultimate request came which quickly brought me back down to reality,
“Can you go and grab ..blah blah.. a coffee from the ground floor shop in the second building please? She likes it with a dash of milk – not too much – but no sugar, I repeat, no sugar.”
It had been bound to happen soon. I didn’t mind actually – it gave me the excuse to find my bearings (or maybe lose would be more accurate?) a bit more and get out the office. Upon returning with one damn good (if I do say so myself) coffee, I was called into the Assistant Editors office for a special assignment...
“I hear you make a damn good coffee?”
(Nah, just kidding)
“I want you to look up as much Harry Potter trivia and funny facts as possible, and write small, punchy paragraphs to go in our special pages coinciding with the film release.”
Ok, so maybe it wasn’t quite interviewing tribes in a newly discovered South American jungle, but for me - dream job or what?! I LOVE Harry Potter (anyone who disagrees with its genius can book an appointment to see me). I was only too happy to oblige.
And so, it has to be said, I had rather a good day today. I was even treated to the joy that is running several times back and forth to the courier’s office (which happens to be located on the other side of the earth), and worked out how to put money on my identity card to allow access to the coffee machine – that’s right, I was able to drink coffee today. I felt almost human again.
Conclusion: Might want to work for this publication.