October 13th: W.E. Day Three - Going Potty

Harry Potter. Harry Potter. Harry Potter. Harry Potter. Harry Potter. Harry Potter. Harry Potter. Harry Potter. Harry Potter. Harry Potter. Harry Potter. Harry Potter. Harry Potter. Harry Potter. Harry Potter.

Fed up of it yet? Then I repeat, book in an appointment to discuss with me about its genius because I frigging love Harry Potter! (Lucky really, seeing that it has become my life.)

More research, phone calls, image viewing and trivia scanning I was called back into the Assistant Editor’s office. (Ok, by called, I mean emailed, ‘cd yu cm in pls’ – decipher as you please.)

Hello! I beamed like a possessed Harry Potter fanatic. He looked shocked. Either I’d gone overboard with the enthusiasm, or ‘cd yu cm in pls’ means something completely different to what I’d translated.

“Right, I want you to go to Charring Cross and purchase any books that has some useful info for the Harry Potter trivia. (Wahoo! An outing!) I’m gonna give you my credit card (Wahoo! Credit Card!) and don’t mind you spending up to £50 / £70 (Wahoo! £50 / £70!).”

“You know I won’t come back” I said, jokingly.

He looked irritated.

Mental note to self: it is far too early on the placement to be making such ‘I’m going to steal all your money' jokes.

So I went off, for far longer than intended and massively failed. I blame a few things for this:

1) That Chancery Lane and Charring Cross Road are not the same place.

2) That no-one has written a book of Harry Potter FILM trivia (perhaps this could be my opening?)

3) That the Editorial Assistant gave me the wrong pin number. Or, it’s possible, cancelled the card after my seemingly less hilarious than I anticipated joke.

4) That a certainty that the Waterstone’s in Piccadily was bound to solve my book finding needs was wrong;

“Err – we can't help you, but have you tried Charring Cross?” - Yes. Yes I have.

Out of the accessible £50 to £70 book buying limit, I spent a grand total of £2.99. And that was so I didn’t come back empty handed. And I paid (to be fair I was offered the money back but felt – considering my colossal letdown – that I should take this one for the team).

When I finally got back to the office some three hours had gone by...Whoops....not really sure what the hell happened there...It certainly hadn't seemed that long...I blame the trains.

Sheepishly, I slid the Assistant Editor back his credit card (at which point he promptly phoned the bank and told them to remove the hold on it), smiled in the direction of my colleagues, realised no-one had even noticed I'd been gone, and settled back down at my desk for the remainder of the afternoon.

I spent it doing more research (and was given another top secret assignment which I shan’t tell you about as I know some of you are fellow journos waiting to pounce, so nah nah nah.) Being a massive geek, it turns out I actually quite enjoy research / secret assignments, so I was content, even if no-one was talking . But then they were quite busy I suppose. And the end of the week deadline is coming up. And I guess it's quite difficult to transcribe a dictaphone interview and talk at the same time. I'll let them off on this occasion.

Then the BEST thing? Five goodbyes when I left the office today. Five! Not one, two three, four, six, seven, eight, nine etc etc, but five. Lovely.

Conclusion: I am warming more to this new life, and maybe – and I mean more maybe than yesterday – would like to work for this publication.

October 12th: W.E. Day Two - A 'hello' goes a long way

Apologies for the delay uploading this - my current situation means I am limited to internet access (and for some reason I don't feel right about uploading these at work...) Still - they are being written every day and that is the main thing. So enjoy...

I decided to try a new tactic today.

“Morning!” I bellowed to the two people opposite who had yet to even blink in my direction.

They looked up, startled.

“Sorry, I don’t think I caught your names before...?” (Mainly because that would involve talking of course...)

“Oh...No. Well I am....and he is....and you are?”

And that was it! That’s all it took! Hurrah! A conversation commenced! We were, well, not friends, but certainly acquaintances by the end. And even better? Miss Attitude was out doing an interview all day! Score!

So within my first ten minutes the day was already going considerably better than yesterday. I thought I’d try and push my new found confidence a bit further, and talk to the ladies to the left, to the left, to the left of me. I decided to try the sympathy vote:

“Argh! The bloody computer is still playing up! Does anyone have any idea how I can stop it locking me out?!”

“Oh poor you,” one lady said (see? Sympathy vote - always works a treat) “I noticed you were having trouble yesterday. (Just decided to ignore it...) Could you have put the password in incorrectly three times?”

Grrr...(but still a good start) ”No.”

Then my other new found acquaintance piped up, “Maybe someone else is using the same ‘guest’ account as you and you keep locking each other out? You should go ask around.”

Eureka! Not only were people talking, discussing and acknowledging me, but they were providing answers! Could the day get any better?

So I went for a stroll around the office (trust me, it’s big enough for a stroll) to find the guilty fellow ‘guest3’ user. It was quite simple really, I just followed the cursing. And soon, there she was, a lovely lady freelancing in the art department.

“Hello,” I said, as she looked ready to throw her computer through the window. “I think we may be able to help each other out.”

One call back to I.T. later (we were bestest buddies by now after all) everything was resolved, life was good and everyone (well, at least me and the 5 people I now semi-knew) were happy. Told you I hadn’t typed the f*cking password in three times in a row.

So then I hit back onto the research, which was going quite nicely. In fact, in several emails I had been bold and upgraded my title to ‘researcher’ rather than ‘work experience lackey’. But then the ultimate request came which quickly brought me back down to reality,

“Can you go and grab ..blah blah.. a coffee from the ground floor shop in the second building please? She likes it with a dash of milk – not too much – but no sugar, I repeat, no sugar.”

It had been bound to happen soon. I didn’t mind actually – it gave me the excuse to find my bearings (or maybe lose would be more accurate?) a bit more and get out the office. Upon returning with one damn good (if I do say so myself) coffee, I was called into the Assistant Editors office for a special assignment...

“I hear you make a damn good coffee?”

(Nah, just kidding)

“I want you to look up as much Harry Potter trivia and funny facts as possible, and write small, punchy paragraphs to go in our special pages coinciding with the film release.”

Ok, so maybe it wasn’t quite interviewing tribes in a newly discovered South American jungle, but for me - dream job or what?! I LOVE Harry Potter (anyone who disagrees with its genius can book an appointment to see me). I was only too happy to oblige.

And so, it has to be said, I had rather a good day today. I was even treated to the joy that is running several times back and forth to the courier’s office (which happens to be located on the other side of the earth), and worked out how to put money on my identity card to allow access to the coffee machine – that’s right, I was able to drink coffee today. I felt almost human again.

Conclusion: Might want to work for this publication.

October 11th 2010: W.E. Day One - Wish I hadn't worn my invisibility cloak...

Ok, so I know they said smart casual, I know they said jeans / trainers would be fine – but I wanted to make an effort on my first day you know? First impressions and everything.

And for anyone that knows me they will realise that making an effort generally means brushing my hair and wearing a skirt. Yes, I really am that easy. Still, an effort nevertheless.

But it wasn’t until I had managed to navigate my way on the train/tube/highway, climb the stairs of the giant news building, met the office dogsbody, and jogged around outside, inside, up floors, down floors, shake it all about floors (I believe our mentor referred to it as a ‘’quick tour’ of the premises – he certainly didn’t lie), that I realised what a waste my efforts were. Waste in the sense that no-one even bothered to look at me when I walked into the newsroom. Waste in that I could have been wearing a Mr Blobby outfit with a tiara and diving boots and they wouldn’t have reacted any differently. Right, jeans and trainers tomorrow then.

So it seems that I was right. That the ‘work experience’ monkey is something of an annoyance to be avoided at all times, not something to play with and be friends. Stupidly, I tried to make small talk with the young, friendly looking girl next to me.

“Hey, I’m Vicky,” I said. “How long have you been working here?” (Standard, I know, but when the girl won’t even look at me what else have I got to work with?!)

“Four and a half years,” she grunted back, flicking through her email, “I should be writing now so...”

So....

- u - You want some help?

- Y - You need some advice?

- Y - You want to show me your style so I can learn and worship you?

- Y - You want me get you a coffee?

- Y - You want me to do it instead?

“So...I should leave you to it then?”

BINGO!

“If you would.”

Great.

And the day didn’t get much better. After an awkward start of being forgotten, followed by an apologetic stroll to the very stressed out ‘dogsbodys’ desk to ask if there is something I could be helping with? I get told to research. Ok, that’s fine, I’ve got no problem with research.

It’s the deathly, cold silence rippling across the office that I have a problem with. So quiet, so uncomfortable, so unlike the office I was working in before...

Then there was the computer. The f*cking computer. Why me? Why does it always happen to me...

“Err...dogsbody...my computer seems to have locked me out?”

“Well just log back in again.”

“Right...err...about that...did try...obviously....but it doesn’t seem to be working because it’s locked. Did I mention that before?”

“Locked?”

“Yes...Did I mention that before...?”

“Did you put the password in incorrectly three times?”

“No – I was just browsing the net, “researching”, and it locked...”

“Are you sure you didn’t put the password in wrong? Three times?”

“Errr...yes. Quite certain...”

“Ok, well phone I.T.”

“Right...could we not have avoided this whole...ok, I’ll call I.T.”

And so began another delightful job throughout the day – calling I.T. to ask them to fix my computer. And not once did this happen, oh no. Not even twice, no no no. But six times. Yes, six lock outs. For no reason.

"Did you put the password in wrongly three times in a row?"

"For the sixth time, no I F*CKING didn't!"

(Ok, I was frustrated by that point. Otherwise, I must admit, the I.T. people were very friendly. Very friendly in comparison to a room full of the living dead anyway - we were quite close by the end of the day.)

End of the first day result? I wouldn't want to work for this well known publication.

Work Experience: a genuine working insight into the media world – or a complete waste of time?

Yesterday was my first day of a two week work experience placement at a well known publication.

Wooow! Well known publication!

(By the way – in case you were wondering - for legal and safety reasons I have decided to omit the name of the actual publication, you’ll just have to trust me that it is a good one.)

It turns out that many people react rather enthusiastically when they hear the prestige title;

- “That’s incredible! You’re sooo going to do well in life!”

For obvious reasons I really hope that these people’s prediction – even if many are mere passing strangers enquiring about my life - are true.

However, to suppose that a two week work experience placement anywhere indicates a lifetime of success to follow, I think, is naive.

Just look at how I got the placement to begin with. One simple, yet incredibly crucial factor: contacts.

That’s right. A quick message to my contact, a friendly passing of information about his contact, who then, for good measure, nodded me in the direction of a third and final contact secured me my spot,

“We can pencil you in for two weeks in mid-October around all the other ‘workies’” (code name for ‘work experience fools’ I believe).

Considering it was March at the time, it dawned on me that I might not be the lucky chosen one after all.

Never mind – I was going to work with a well known publication! Get my name published! Be a journo star!

The my ‘workies guide’ came through:

”Whilst here you’ll be helping out around the office, running errands, answering phones and researching. Apart from a notepad and pen, you don’t particularly need to bring anything with you, but do wear comfy shoes, as on occasion you can end up on your feet all day.”

Hmm...it seemed to be missing the, “You may be required to pitch story ideas” line or the “you may be required to interview huge Hollywood celebs” part, or even the “you may have to do some writing” component.

I was sceptical. If I wanted some work experience doing admin work then shouldn’t I just get a paid job in an office? And if I was the twentieth work experience monkey of that year – was I really going to be able to make that much of an impression? I mean, I know I have had my professional phone manner complimented on numerous occasions, but I have a feeling that it just might not propel me to the next level this time.

Then of course there is the work experience aspect; the fact that it is two weeks unpaid, two weeks that will actually end up costing me about £200 in travel / lunch expenses. Don’t get me wrong - if I was genuinely going to get something out of the placement then fine, great, I have no problem. However, if the most that I learn is where their postal box is, then it’s harder to justify such expense – I guess we’ll just have to see.

And so creates my new prediction for the week:

I will turn up, someone will hurry me to a desk, give me some remedial task to do to keep me quiet / busy, and no-one will give a sh*t. I know it seems slightly pessimistic, but let’s face it - those work experience things are annoying, and it’ll be gone in two weeks anyway.

So – I repeat – work experience: a genuine working insight into the media world – or a complete waste of time? I will keep a log of my placement so we can find out together...I’m sure I’ve got you on the edge of your seat.